Saturday, May 16, 2009

News From the Future

A direct link to the above video is at

Wired Magazine has their popular "Found: Artifacts from the Future" page. I'll call this one "News from the Future".

MacDonald's Now Twitter-Compliant

MacDonald's has announced a complete transition to a revolutionary menu which responds to the consensus of twitter feeds from around the world. The new menu is advertised as "MELF: Moral, Ethical, Local and Fifth-Dimensional". Industry pundits are applauding the restaurant chain as being the first to take this bold leap.

"We've always been about the kids," says MacDonald's CEO Ralph Johnson. "When the practice of giving children twitter accounts at birth became commonplace earlier this year, it became impossible for us to ignore the consensus of what the young people of the world really want."

Much has been written over the past few months about the ubiquitous network of tweet generators that sense the thoughts of newborns, aiding in communication between parent and child. The surprising revelations that all children have already-developed opinions about right and wrong, the existence of consciousness in all living things and its persistence after death, and the need for thinking beyond our current spacetime position within the multiverse are still being resisted by an atheistic old guard.

The additional twitter feeds from animals around the world that are now coming online appear to have been the tipping point for MacDonald's. "Now that we can see the rich internal life of a cow, a chicken, or even a fish, it became impossible for us to go on creating this amount of psychic damage in the universe", says MacDonald's Marketing Director Joy Redwood. "Luckily, new advances in vat-grown tissue have come along just in time to allow us to make burgers that taste great but don't tear big holes in the spirit world."

Can a major restaurant chain be profitable while creating products that utilize local suppliers wherever possible, create very little environmental or psychic damage, and engage in a consensus vision of moving our planet to the most desirable position within our fifth-dimensional probability space? CEO Johnson says it's already a given."This is the modern way. Everyone and everything has a say, and when you listen to the consensus you prosper. Presented in those terms, I've had no problem selling this to my shareholders."

Enjoy the journey,

Rob Bryanton

PS - some related articles:

Mindwalk and Twitter
Google and the Group Mind
Creativity and the Quantum Universe
The Fifth Dimension Isn't Magic
New Scientist Review of The Playful Brain
New Scientist on Animals and Language
Scientific American - Latest news on vat-grown meat
Digital Signals Blog on new visualization tools for making sense of the Twitter deluge

Next: The Stream

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


Tenth Dimension Vlog playlist